Anime Expo!

I'm going!!!! In just a few days, I'll be in the Los Angeles Convention Center staring in awe at all the anime and cosplayers <3 I can't wait :3 I'm going the second and third day for sure, and possibly the first day. We'll have to see.

High School! Sort of.

Well, summer school's begun! So it's high school. I guess. It's really different from my old school. There are so many people I don't know, and so few that I do. Well, new experiences, right? It's not like I dislike it. I've been taking Health since last week, Monday through Thursday. Then the same thing this week, and then I get a week off. Then I take Algebra for 3 weeks, the next day is band camp for a couple more weeks, and then school starts the next day. Essentially, I get one week of summer. Which is the shortest summer I've ever had! T^T But that's okay. It's good to keep my brain active during the summer. The only thing I don't like about summer school is you're sitting in a classroom for six hours with only one 15 minute break in between, learning about only one subject; so I lose interest after about two hours. I don't know how I'm going to survive in Algebra. *sighs*

And it's so hard without all my nakama to help me through this. I didn't realize how much they mean to me until I know longer saw them anymore. Some of us met up last weekend at my house and I hugged them so tight...Wow. It was okay in elementary school to have so few friends, but once I got a taste of having support and smiles all around me, I can't go back to being a happy loner anymore. I miss them... It's kind of pathetic. But that's human nature, right? We're dependent on others to help us get through life. I haven't made any friends either at my high school yet. Everyone I've met so far are...normal. No otakus, no axe-murdering psychopaths (just kidding), but you get my drift. Everyone's so normal, it's a little scary.

I'm doing my best to survive, and really, it's not that bad. I'm sure I'll make some buddies at band camp, or maybe I'll make nakama if I join the anime club. And maybe I won't make any at all and go back to my social introverted self. We'll just have to see.

Dancing FAIL

A group of my friends and I are trying out for the talent show. Are we going to get in? Probably not... (don't tell ____ I said that .O.) Anyways, one girl made a mix tape of a bunch of different songs. Problem? We've been working on the Lucky Star dance for about a week and a half, and we've just about finished it. We're pretty off task, and at every practice, there's always someone missing, so then we have to get them caught up at the next practice and ahhhh @.@

Right now, we're trying to learn Ring Ding Dong by SHINee. It's no piece of cake, especially since my hips seem to be nonexistent... T^T

The chorus part that we're learning starts at 0:18. It's kinda hard to learn it from this video since it's not the dance version, I can't find that one >.< so I'm looping bits of the MV on infinitelooper.com, which is my favorite site to learn dances from. ( Let's get this straight, I don't dance...or at least, I didn't until last week) I'm starting to get sick of this song, after listening to the chorus looped for an hour or so O_O And I really don't know why, but I can NOT do the hula-hoop hip thing at the beginning of the chorus! >.< My hips can't, or won't, move. I look like an awkward turtle...



And yeah...Makes me feel incompetent or something... >.>
A lot of girls are having breakdowns too...anxiety attacks and such...the leader broke down twice, she's sooooo stressed out! I told her to chill, if we don't make it in, oh well, we tried our hardest, etc. Because it's not like we're not trying. We've been practicing a couple of hours a day pretty much every day after school for the past week. I just want it to be over already. We have three minutes to perform and wanna know how much we've got down? Just the Lucky Star dance, so, about thirty seconds. I really don't know what happened with my attitude. Last week I said, "Let's do this thing!!!" Today I thought, "Can I quit now?" I guess it's because I can feel the impending doom of failure, and I really don't like failing. I have a bunch of projects due soon as well, and I'm not going to sacrifice academics for a talent show performance, no matter how "great the experience will be." Man, I'm starting to hate this blog now. Seems like I'm fuming half of the time, which I probably am... =-= I'm disappointed in myself. But I can't blow off steam at my friends and family, since no one wants to listen to a 14-year-old teenage girl's problems, so might as well do it here, where the only people that look at this blog are bored strangers that I will never meet with in real life.

Aaaanyways, I went off topic again, didn't I? Aaaagh. I like the Lucky Star dance <3 Minimum hip movement involved. ^^ But grrrrr, SHINee... Why do you have to be so difficult to learn? Even my boy friend can move his hips more fluently than I can.



Feel like screaming every time I see this GIF, although I'll probably laugh about it later. Ahh, it's nice  to just chill at home and eat belgian chocolate (my friend gave me a huge bar of it for my b-day, love ya sweetie) and type a blog post. I could almost forget that tryouts are in 2 days from today, English project's due Friday, etc. Ahhh. *sigh* Would it be so much as to ask for one day to sleep? I was so tired today. My science teacher called me out because I was watching her and I think it was taking longer and longer for my eyes to open. Aaaand, that's it guys. Wish me luck on trying to get my straight-as-a-board body to do the hula-hoop XD .... _ _lll      T^T

Attack on Titan Episode 5 (Short Post)

I love this guy's review on Attack on Titan episodes <3 So, episode 7 is coming out Saturday ^.^ Can't wait! This video review I posted is a review is on episode 5. Don't watch if you haven't seen that episode yet! That episode was just CRAZY!!! Right after that episode, I was literally like this XD


















It was so surprising. I'm still reeling from it! Anyway, I cannot wait for episode 7! I want to know what happens to Eren... T^T

Attack on Titan (Shigeki no Kyojin) Summary :3

<--- push da play button .D.

I've found an anime that blew me away. Wow. Attack on Titan, or Shigeki no Kyojin, is an amazing anime. I was speechless before the opening was even over. Wow. The story centers around a boy named Eren Jaeger, and his adopted sister, Mikasa Ackerman.
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They live in a world filled with titans, giants with a desire to eat human flesh. To prevent human extinction, the last of the humans built huge walls, 50 meters high and hundreds of kilometers long, around themselves. There are three walls called Wall Maria (the outermost wall), Wall Rose (middle wall), and Wall Sina (the innermost wall housing the capital). Picture a target. It's kind of similar to that.





 Eren and Mikasa live between the outer and middle walls. Wall Maria hadn't been destroyed for a hundred years, so no one expected the titans to come, if ever. Of course, things happen when you're the least prepared for it. Suddenly out of nowhere, a giant lightning bolt comes down and poof, a HUUUUGE titan, larger than all the others, appears and starts to break down the wall. The other smaller titans get in, and all hell breaks loose.

 Eren realizes that where the titans had gotten in was where his house was, and his mom was still inside. His dad had left for a business trip right before the titans invaded, and Eren and Mikasa had been out and about at the time. They run to see if she is all right, and they see that their house had collapsed, trapping her legs. They attempt to free her, before an approaching titan comes to eat them all, but their efforts are useless. Then Hannes, one of the wall's protectors, comes in on the scene and their mother begs him to take the children and run. Hannes says that he will fight off the Titan and rushes at it. He freezes and races back to them, scoops up Eren and Mikasa, and runs.

 You can tell from the picture that Eren can still see his mother and the titan. The titan scoops up his mother and eats her. And he got to watch the whole thing. Yaaay. I'm sure he wanted to watch that.

 But wow. This anime. Wow. Blew. Me. Away. The opening is amazing. The animation is excellent. The storyline has the perfect blend of tragedy, action, horror, humor, sci-fi, fantasy, heck, it has practically anything. No romance yet. So far.

So what are you doing here, watching me ramble on and on? GO WATCH IT! I didn't describe it well enough to give it credit. Go be your own judge. Watch one of the best animes ever created. And prepare to be shocked, prepare to cry, or at least be a little sympathetic.

Clannad

Goodness. All I talk about is depressing stuff now, eh? That's not good for my health. Well, let's talk about something otaku-ish, shall we? I started watching Clannad. It's very good! I didn't want to watch it at first because every time I mentioned that anime to a person, they'd get all teary-eyed and sad, and they'd say it was the saddest anime ever. Okaaay, I'm not the type that watches sad things for fun. So I put off watching it for a while, but a couple days ago I felt like watching something, so I went to my list of animes to watch, and guess what was at the top of the list? I groaned and settled down to watch death and destruction. It's nothing of the sort. At least not yet. It's about a guy named Tomoya and a girl named Nagisa. I think. Tom.'s a guy that doesn't come to school on time, and does what he wants. Your typical bad boy. Nagisa's a girl that had to repeat her senior year of high school because of her frail health. They meet on the way to school. Tom (short for Tomoya lol) hears her muttering names of food to herself and becomes interested in her. Not like that, people. Just like, interested in who she was, and yeah. The story builds off their friendship. From where I'm at, Nagisa is trying to revive the drama club. I'd recommend this anime to anyone who likes a good story and I hear romance will be brewing. Then, there's that sad factor that is yet to come that I'm not eager to reach.

The Anniversary of Pain

It hurts when he talks about his ex. I know he was hurt a lot. I know. But…why does it hurt? Well, for a couple reasons. I see Josh in him, being hurt by an ex. I know what I did to Josh wasn’t right. But why did he leave? He didn’t have to. He could have said good-bye, at least. Or said why he was leaving. Although I’m 99% sure I know the answer to that. I just…I think he was really hurt by that. He rarely spoke to me after that. He only stuck around a week or so after the break-up. Not like he spoke much anyway. But if just FELT different. I don’t know. But I pray that Josh wasn’t as hurt about it as Sano is hurting about his ex.

It hurts when he talks about her. I feel like I should do something, but I can hardly do anything. All I can do is listen. Listen and hurt with him. When he talks about her, I don’t know, it just…hurts. It’s not jealousy. It’s because she has a place in his heart that I can never fill. I know that. I know that with  my boys. Sano can never fill the place of pain and hurting in my heart that’s reserved for Justin. He could never feel the space in my heart just for Josh, where guilt and uneasiness live. It’s like that with him. Sano has a place in his heart just for his ex that I’ll never be able to fill. It may heal with time. Perhaps. But she’ll always be in his mind. Perhaps more than I am on his mind. Because, those that hurt us have a larger place in our heart and mind than the people that love us. I was introduced to this theory in Skip Beat, and now that I’ve experienced it, I believe it’s true. Our past will always haunt us. We need to accept that. Even if we move on, there will be times where we reflect on that pain. We’ll cry. We’ll be sad. We’ll even forget about where we are currently at life, even if it’s perfect, for just a moment. We’ll travel to the past and then recollect our worst moments, the time where you gave your heart to someone, trusting you completely, and then they take your heart and destroy it. Then they leave you with the pieces. Then someone else comes along and helps you sew your heart back together. And you have fun with that person. Love that person. But, the scars remain. Your heart will never be fully, completely healed. And sometimes, you think about those scars. And you cry. And the other person that loves you can’t do anything. They cannot heal you fully. They cannot comfort you, because that will just make it worse. They can only watch as you face your worst enemy again: your own heart.

Ah, the heart. Our best friend; our worst enemy. The reason we smile. The reason we cry. We want to rip it out of our chests at times. We want to hold onto our hearts at time. What hurts more than being hurt, at least for me, is seeing someone else, especially someone we love, in pain. And it feels like being stabbed when you can’t help them.