Funny how much you appreciate life when you're about to lose it. But it's so true. Today, I had an allergic reaction with something, I'm not sure what, but all I know is that it was horrible. I was eating lunch, then all of a sudden I felt an itching in my throat, an extremely uncomfortable scratchiness that wouldn't go away. It hurt to breathe, and every breath became an effort. I wonder why I reacted to that food. I'm allergic to peanuts, but my parents tried it and said it didn't taste like peanuts. I'm wondering more and more recently if I'm developing another allergy, because I've been reacting to things way more often than usual, and I can't find a connection with all the things I've reacted to, and all of them definitely had no peanuts in it. Great. Back to the restaurant. I honestly felt in that moment that I had no more desire to live if this laborious task called breathing continued. It hurt. So much. I couldn't talk; it took too much effort. I just concentrated on breathing. One breath in, and out. In, and out. It was so horrible. I felt like there was something lodged in my throat; it hurt to swallow and to breathe. In, out. In out. We left the restaurant and went to get some medication for me. I didn't see my life flashing before my eyes like everyone says they see. Instead, I had "If I Die Young"  by The Band Perry playing in my head. Yes, if I die young, bury me inside, lay me down in a bed of roses...send me away with the words of a love song. I wanted to die. But I didn't, as you can see, because I'm typing this about six hours after lunch. My dad went to get medicine for me, while I focused on breathing, lungs heaving, stomaching churning. I finally got medicine, and it was the best feeling in the world. Forget all the other things the world says give you pleasure. Try knowing that you were so close to not being able to breathe, and then being able to breathe freely again. That's the best. I was feeling unwell before lunch also, I had no energy. Plus the ordeal of the allergy, I felt like a zombie. I went home and took a nap. It was so rejuvenating! Don't underestimate the power of sleep.

I'm not quite sure what this is. Sometimes I get these waves of emotion and I have to put it into words. It's not exactly poetry, since the lines don't usually rhyme, but I feel a rhythm to it so...

I call it an otaku's type of poetry ^-^ So here's some I wrote today for no real reason, I just felt inspired. The first verse rhymes a bit. The rest don't.

My face, a facade, you might think it real
But the shy, heart-broken girl lies beneath the mask
Clap your hands, raise your flask
To the imaginary girl, because she is no more.

Hide, hide, hide my pain.
I cower behind the iron walls of my heart.
Deeply, deeply, slowly still
I sink farther and farther away from reality.
My heart is crying, the scars you've given me
Will they ever heal?

Gone forever, naive little one
Where is your innocence now?
Smashed, destroyed, pieces flying away in the wind
It's time to face the music.
We can't sugarcoat the world forever.
Sayonara.

And one more, a poem(sorta)

What is a trick and what is a lie?
This was not my life's design.
Mood swings, depression, abandonment still,
Yet you say in me you've found love so real.
How can I believe this lie
When the next day you're at another's side?
You build me up, you break me down,
Now I fall slowly to the ground.

No that doesn't describe me. It's for a frienemy. Is that how you spell it? Friend + enemy? Eh. 

Oh. My. Gosh. I completely forgot all about my blog! Well, what do you know? Since the last time I blogged, summer past, and....yeah. I'm in eight grade now! Yay! I made it into the honors english and honors geometry class. Let's see how long I last before I begin flunking...>.< I really should get a happier outlook on life. I'm too young to be depressed! O.O Well, I made it into drumline again! And, once again, I get the crummy instrument. Yay? It broke, so I'm using a xylophone until the user of the xylo comes back from his trip. Then I share with someone. I hope they fix it, rumor has it that they're getting a new mariba though :D. Guess what? ONE PIECE IS SOOOOO EPIC!!!!! I started it about the time I started eighth grade, and now I'm on episode 163 ^^. They're in Skypiea, being tested by the priests. I keep screaming, "Go, Luffy! Kick his butt!!" to myself. I think I'm slowly loosing it; but aren't we all? It's so good, man.
I'm going to start trying to update more often, not like anyone really cares. I'm a very thoughtful person. I search into your hearts, minds, and souls. I'm trying my best to understand humanity better. I learned this today: you can't trust others 100%. No one's perfect. If you give someone your trust, they're going to rip it up into little pieces and throw it in your face. I think I need to stop being so open. Trust, but not with anything important. I've been told that before, by my pastor. I've thought of that, and he's right. Of course. They have to be right, and they are. Recently, I've found IMing a blessing and a curse. I'm not telling you the blessing, or the curse, 'cause I don't trust you readers. (Even though I have none, I'm not throwing caution into the winds and pouring out my whole heart throbbing story pffft (and I thought I was going to be optimistic on this blog, yeah that worked...))
I feel like I have no life, typing a (technically) journal for the whole world to see. It's kinda scary, actually. o.O My dad told me that sometimes when you're looking for a job, your employers will check out your Facebook, etc. to see if you will be a reliable worker. I find that quite terrifying, although I don't even do anything on Facebook, much less have more than 10 friends. My closest friends don't have Facebooks, much less cell phones. Good for them, I say! I just find it quite smart of them to check out a person's online life before employing them, though. Wow, I'm really rambling. I think I'll start to try and wrap this up.
Oh, last night I had a weird dream, which is great for me! I hardly (like, less than once a month) ever get dreams. :D So, I was on a train with my family and as we're disembarking, I see a classmate on the cart across from us, talking to his mother. No, I will not tell you my connections with this boy. Then, my family and I get off the train. I look back and see him staring. At. Me. I have mixed emotions of that dream; the largest feeling is just weirdness. :3 So I'mma wrap up.


Peace. Love. And One Piece!

Oh, here's a drawing I did of Luffy the other day X3 I copied, NOT traced. Yes, my friends, there is a difference.

Sayonara. Let's hope I don't forget to update for another few months, like last time! ^-^